I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
