In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize