Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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