It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
