Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
