oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Text me some of your sweat
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
