he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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