my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
