you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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