Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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