Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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