I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
