Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
