I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize