I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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