Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
