At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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