super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
