As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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