At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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