It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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