i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?