The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
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I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia