i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.