mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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