The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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