farters have to be the big spoon...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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