i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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