And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
