Im at strip club and am horny
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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