Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize