Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
