I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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