Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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