alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
