i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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