They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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