he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
