the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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