the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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