I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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