CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
