wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
