My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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