so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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