I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
