dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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