I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
God, I missed his penis.
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