I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
