Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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