week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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