Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
