just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
