On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
More tranny stories later!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
