my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
