mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
