I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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