She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
