I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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