Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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