just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
