I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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