Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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