Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
